


eu's terrible, no-good, vent-writing dump

by eustassya



Category: Iron Man - All Media Types
Genre: Also Passive-Aggressive Content, Essentially I'm venting through writing, M/M, Probably Toxic Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2018-11-01 07:30:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10917192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eustassya/pseuds/eustassya
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin. Mostly gratuitous fave character hurt.





	1. Family Issues

**Author's Note:**

> I am upset. I write. I post it. This is my upset, angry writing.

“Tony,” Steve murmurs into his ear one night, as they’re about to fall asleep. His arm is a streak of warmth around Tony’s waist, his body a line of heat down Tony’s back. Comfortable. “I’d really like to have a kid, sometime. Have a family, y’know? I was thinking maybe we could adopt…”

 

The only word Tony really hears is ‘family’. He tenses.

 

“No.”

 

“...no?”

 

No. Tony doesn’t want family. He doesn’t want the gaping loneliness back, the endless days of pain. ‘Family’ is being told he’s worthless, useless, every morning, every night. It’s the tense, stifling silence at dinner, in the car, anywhere he is. It’s being so stressed all the time he completely stops eating. It’s having to go home every night, to an empty shell of a house or to a mousetrap.

 

“Tony,” Steve tries. “We won’t be like your parents, I promise.”

 

It’s like Steve’s trying to read his mind, but he’s reading it wrong, he’s on a different tangent and he’s missing the point entirely. Tony doesn’t know if he should laugh or cry.

 

Tony shakes his head, shrugs. “That’s not it, Steve. I just- I don’t want a family, okay? I just- I just don’t.” Then, belatedly, “I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s fine,” Steve says. But Tony can hear the disappointment palpable in it, and a spike of guilt stabs at him.

 

“It’s not because I don’t love you,” he says quietly. He’s so glad they sleep like this - Steve spooning Tony from behind. He’s glad Steve can’t see his face.

 

“I know,” Steve whispers.

 

“Okay,” he says. “Goodnight.”

 

“Goodnight, Tony.”

 

Tony doesn’t sleep for the rest of the night, even when Steve’s breaths deepen and even out. In the morning, he slips out of bed and goes down to the workshop. Steve is still asleep, blonde hair a beautiful mess on the pillow.


	2. Stardust AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to write a Stardust AU but then i got bored so have this  
> there's not even any s/t in here okay it's like just A Single Scene hahaha

“Steve! Stevie, boy, get yer ass over here!”

 

In the midst of the rowdy nighttime crowd, Steve can barely make out Bucky’s shout. He’s drowning in the noise, chatter and laughter and people blending into a heavy, sour sea of Loud. Steve tries pushing through the tightly-packed groups of people, but it’s like trying to sail a ship in a storm - futile. Not that Steve has ever seen the sea, mind you. None but those who venture beyond the Wall have. For all he knows, it might be a completely made-up story, something that doesn’t even exist. A sudden, tight tug on his arm drags him away from the oppressing heat and out into the cool night air.

 

“Thanks, Bucky,” he gasps, only now realising how hard it had been to breathe inside that stuffy inn. The light from inside spills out through glazed glass windows, bathing the two of them in a golden glow : Steve, with his awkward angles and bony elbows, and Bucky, with his jaunty smiles and muscled arms. What a pair they make, Steve thinks. Out here, in the tiny alley behind the Ant and Wasp, there is no one but the two of them.

 

It’s a chilly night, autumn already creeping into Brookes and chasing away the long days of sun. he sliver of sky Steve can make out is filled with stars, cold and bright

 

Bucky pulls out a pack of cigarettes, and Steve makes a face. “What good is coming out here if you’re just gonna clog up the air, huh?” he jokes, nudging his best friend in the side. They do this every night; Bucky will pull out his cigarettes, the fancy expensive ones he bought from a trader from Outside just to impress the ladies, and Steve will passive-aggressively hint at his asthma, and Bucky will keep the cigarettes, to protect his buddy’s weak lungs, he says. And tonight, like all other nights, Bucky shakes his head with a chuckle and puts the pack back into his pocket.

 

“So,” Bucky says, and Steve knows this look, has seen in a million and one times, and he knows exactly what Bucky’s going to say next.

 

“How are things going with Peggy?”

 

Knew it.

 

“How d’ya think?” he mutters, turning his head to hide the blush rising to his cheeks. Steve’s been mooning over Peggy for months now, ever since she said hi to him on the street. To be accurate, he’d had a crush on her ever since she moved here, from Outside, into this little town in the middle of Nowhere. He’d only ever allowed himself a look and a smile before, but now, he thinks maybe he has a chance. Peggy’s noticed him once, maybe she’ll notice him again. And again. And again and again, until they really get to know each other, and maybe she’ll see past his scrawny body.

 

Or not.


	3. more angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pining steve, that is all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set during commander steve and resilient tony arc. essentially another thing i wrote that isn't good enough or long enough to call a fic. and it makes me feel crappy so i'm posting it for documentation and deleting it from the stevetony folder.

the cold bites at the exposed skin of his face, not quite stinging but still unpleasant. he doesn't much like the cold.

 

winter has fallen upon new york once again, coating every surface with a thin layer of slushy snow. it'll probably get thicker over the next week, he thinks.

 

then, unbidden : i wonder how tony is. he shoves the thought down, desperately, pushes it back into the recesses of his mind. but it's planted itself like a particularly strong weed, and now he can't stop thinking about it.

 

tony's off in seattle being resilient, and here steve is, in the costume of shield's commander, protecting the free world each and every day. it's what he's been doing since he woke up in this brave new world. Protecting. Defending. he wonders what it would be like, not to look to his right and see an empty space where maria hill currently stands.

 

it's not that he doesn't trust maria, or her expertise and competency, but. ever since he'd started... this, whatever it is, it's always been him and tony. captain america and iron man.

 

not having tony here... it's like missing a limb he didn't know he even had.


End file.
